Forgive Me
by Kittyliz701
Summary: After the winter war, Toshiro is guilt ridden and has reused to see Momo, but in doing so she believes him to be dead, what will happen when the two meet again?
1. Chapter 1

Hitsuhina forgive me

Part 1/2

Sitting in his office as usual felt somewhat dull. Yes it was a few minutes past midnight and there was little light. But the atmosphere was dull. There was no light touch to it that made it bearable for him to sit there all day and do his paperwork. He knew what it was.

Guilt.

Guilt was what plagued his thoughts, therefore making the air around him seem dull and heavy. He just couldn't get over it. He couldn't see past the fact that it really wasn't his fault. That they all played to it. That everyone was tricked too. It was the one thought that destroyed him. Over and over it played in his head like a broken record.

It was my sword.

It was his sword that pierced her skin. His sword that almost killed her. His sword that completely broke her. And he would never forgive himself for it.

He was finishing up his paperwork as he listened to the ticking of his clock. He tried to take his mind off the thought my doing his paperwork, but it was almost done. What would he do with nothing else to distract him?

He finally took the last piece of paper in his hands. He only needed to sign it. He sighed to himself and almost winced as he signed the paper and put it on the completed pile. He had spent all day doing paperwork. He used to just train to take his mind off his thoughts. To get stronger. But his subordinate had noticed that he was getting exhausted. She refused to let him go and train to the point where she had to use a kido spell to bind him to his chair and tell him the plain truth. Her words echoed in his head.

"Taicho, I won't let you. You have to listen to me. If you get yourself exhausted and down to squad four do you really think Momo will be pleased? If you want to please her, and protect her, you can't let yourself get ill. You're getting everyone worried. Just go back to what you do best, doing your paperwork, and telling me to do mine!" she had laughed afterwards with a deep and pleading pain in her eyes he had never seen before.

He sighed again and got up to go to his room to sleep. He took Hyorinmaru in his hand and walked slowly through his barracks. He could tell by the way he felt if anyone saw him now they would know something was wrong. He could feel the sad emotions plastered onto his face.

It was my sword.

The thought hit him again when he was just outside his room. He stopped and fell to the floor clutching his head.

It was my sword.

He winced in pain of the memory. The image of his sword piercing Momo. Her blood on him.

It was my sword.

He gritted his teeth as a single tear trickled down his face as he shouted out in a deep and painful cry,

"NO!"

He staggered up quickly to shut himself in his room as more rare tears ran down his ice-cold face when he slid the door open. But he stopped as he gasped in shock.

Sitting by his bed with her head on the sheets quivering, was Momo. She was in her light yellow nightgown and her hair was tied in a loose ponytail. She was crying, obviously quite badly because he could hear the little squeaks and gasps she made, and was clearly shaken up by something. She hadn't heard him, or sensed him yet. He took the opportunity to wipe his face and calm himself down before saying,

"H-Hinamori?"

She gasped and turned around sharply. Her eyes were dark and her expression showed her pain. She looked petrified. Her eyes were wide like a stunned deer. Had he done something? Why was she he if he had?

"Hitsugaya-kun! Y-you're not d-dead?" she said between little gasps.

He looked at her. Dead? She thought he was dead? Why?

"Why would you think I was dead?" he said quietly taking a tiny step back, which she did notice.

Momo looked at him tears pouring down her face again.

"U-Unohana-taicho told me your arm and leg had been cut off entirely! I th-thought you'd died! I woke up and she told me, after she left I-I ran here and you were gone, I thought… I-I thought you …" but she couldn't finish her sentence before bursting out into tears and running into his arms.

Her warm tears seeped through his haori and shihakusho she was crying so much. His expression softened as he took her over to sit on the bed. He couldn't believe that she ran all the way over here. Did she really care about him that much?

"Hinamori, can I ask you something?"

She stiffened at the formal title, and frowned whilst she sniffed away the rest of her tears on his shoulder. He sighed. He knew she hated it, but he knew it was just manners as well.

"Momo," she looked up at him and attempted a smile before dropping it "can I ask you something."

She nodded.

"If I gave you something, something … special, would you forgive me?"

At this Momo found interest and sat up to look at his face.

"What do you mean?"

"Would you forgive me?" he said quietly, as he moved closer to her, "Just yes," he moved even closer, so that their noses were almost touching, and whispered "or no."

He almost couldn't hear it, only just, a very silent whisper that shattered him completely.

"No."

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><p>LE GASP! SHE SAID NO? don't worry! she's not horrible! read the last part to find out why :3<p>

please review! x


	2. Chapter 2

Hitsuhina - forgive me

chapter 2

"Unohana-taicho, where's Hitsugaya-taicho?" Momo asked the tall dark haired Captain. Normally when Momo was ill or sick, Toshiro would always come and visit. But he hadn't yet so far, and she was getting worried.

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you this, but when I first saw him, the whole of his left side had been cut off and he was in a very unstable condition, but- oh," she was interrupted by one of the fourth company members who whispered something to her, "oh yes I understand. I'm sorry Hinamori-chan, but I have to go. I'll be back soon, just stay here and let everyone treat you, alright?" and with that, she left.

Momo was speechless. The captain's words echoed in her head a million times over. She tried to call his name, but only came out with stuttered letters. Her eyes welled up with tears that blurred her vision. It couldn't be true. It couldn't be true!

She got up out of bed quickly and ran out the door to see Unohana standing by a stretcher that had someone under a white sheet. Unohana sighed and looked at the clock and wrote the time down. Momo covered her mouth to stop the gasp, but couldn't stop herself from crying more tears.

She ran in the opposite direction and out of the barracks of the fourth company. It couldn't be true. He wasn't dead. That wasn't him! It couldn't be him! She ran faster, forcing the little energy she had in using flash step to get to the tenth company barracks.

She knew where his room was, it was almost midnight, he should be sleeping. He should be there. He would be there. She ran down the corridor and burst into his bedroom. She looked around and paused for a second.

She slowly walked over to the bed in disbelief. Slowly she collapsed by the side of it and felt the new made bed sheets. They weren't warm. They hadn't been used at all recently. She could only very faintly smell his scent. She brushed her hand over the sheets whilst resting her head on the bed, tears slowly leaking from her face.

Suddenly all her emotions bottled over and she burst out into a fit of tears and screaming. She clutched the sheets to her face, soaking up her tears like a sponge. All the pain of her injuries no longer mattered. That wasn't what was making her scream. What was making her scream was the pain of the braking of her heart.

He was dead.

He was dead. She knew it deep down but still refused to believe it. Her Shiro-chan couldn't be gone; her best friend that she had spent her life depending on. The person she trusted most. The person she loved mot more than anything.

She stopped for a moment when she thought that. She'd never really thought about him in that way, but looking at it now it was true. She had loved him. And it had taken him to die for her to finally realize that. The world was looking down on her and laughing at her. It had taken away what mattered most to her and left her to suffer with the pain.

She couldn't stop her tears. The screams and squeaks she produced were scaring her. She'd never cried like this before. She'd never felt pain like this before.

"H-Hinamori?"

She stopped.

That voice; that sweet tone that called her name like a prayer. She whipped her head around.

And there he was. Standing there in the door way with red eyes. She was scared. Scared that it was a lie. That it was a dream. A trick her mind was playing on her.

"Hitsugaya-kun! Y-you're not d-dead?"

Her words stiffened him. They had hurt him. She looked at him closely. She saw he was confused, but so was she herself. He never showed his emotions so openly. Was this really him?

"Why would you think I was dead?" he asked, taking a little step back.

He was obviously shocked, but she didn't want him to go. She couldn't let him! Maybe if she explained to him why,

"U-Unohana-taicho told me your arm and leg had been cut off entirely! I th-thought you'd died! When I woke up she told me. After she left I-I ran here and you were gone, I thought… I-I thought you …" but she couldn't say it again. He couldn't be dead. He was here now.

Tears started running down her face again as she ran into his arms. He was whole. He was here. She could feel his warm skin, his hands holding her, his white hair that brushed her face slightly. He wasn't dead. But he had come so close to it because of her.

He came and sat her down on the bed as she let the last of her tears be shed. She started letting out little sniffs instead when he said,

"Hinamori, can I ask you something?"

She stiffened. She hated him calling her that. It showed so little care for her that she almost believed he didn't care about her. She felt him breathe in deeply and let out a little sigh. She liked feeling the movement of his body. It made her feel assured he was really alive and really here with her.

"Momo," that made her look up and try to smile, but the ache of her tear stained face was painful "Can I ask you something?"

She nodded and listened to his warm voice.

"If I gave you something, something … special, would you forgive me?"

At this she sat up finding interest.

"What do you mean?"

"Would you forgive me?" he said quietly, as he moved closer to her, "Just yes," he moved even closer, so that their noses were almost touching, and whispered "or no."

She took in a silent gasp. His question had shocked her. But she knew what her answer was.

"No."

With this Toshiro opened his eyes wide with fear and pain. A pain she could tell that had broken him completely. He sat back and looked at her in disbelief. He was about to get up to leave but she grabbed his hand and pulled him back down. She looked at him and smiled. He looked confused and still hurt, but despite that, she still leant in and kissed him.

She held him there, holding the back of his neck in both hands gently. She then leant back with silent tears trickling down her face, but smiled.

"I won't forgive you, because there is nothing to forgive you for," she felt brave and so said "T-Toshiro, I knew after I asked you why you stabbed me that I shouldn't have. I knew by your reaction that it wasn't intentional. I'll admit I had my doubts, but I was never mad or upset. But the one thing I do want to know it why didn't you come and see me? I missed you."

She looked into his beautiful aquamarine eyes, but he looked away as a tear rolled down his cold skin, another rare feature she wasn't used to seeing.

"Because I was afraid. I wanted to be able to protect you. I couldn't stand to think of myself as deserving enough to be with you after to hurt you. I almost killed you. I didn't want to do it again."

She wiped away the tear on his cheek gently. And turned his head to look so that he would look at her.

"It's stupid that it's taken me this long to realize this, but Toshiro… you are the most important thing in my life. If you left, I would have nothing. Toshiro," she then moved close again to look deep into his eyes to show the true meaning of her feelings "I love you."

Toshiro frowned slightly but then wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to hug her tightly, then leant back to get even closer to her than she did to him. He placed one hand on her cheek and stroked her soft skin which gave her goose bumps.

"And I love you, Momo," he whispered over her lips.

And with that he kissed her back.

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><p>aaaahh, see! momo wasn't bad, she was just being incredibly sweet 3<p>

hope you enjoyed it! please review! x


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